he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
