Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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