im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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