I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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