yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
