We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
