Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
