bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
