:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
