Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
