all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
