Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
