dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
