I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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