You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
