why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
