I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
