Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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