Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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