Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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