I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
