at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
