Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we're so committed to being not committed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
