Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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