Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize