yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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