Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize