we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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