Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
