I showed him my bush... on skype.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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