So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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