Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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