My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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