i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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