if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
