I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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