dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
