hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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