Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
