I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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