NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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