I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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