I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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