I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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