Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
