these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize