That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
