you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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