nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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