Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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