You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
