Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
