Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
