You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
