So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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