when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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