How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Vodka?
Forever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
