I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
