Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
