k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize