We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
